Things Fall Apart - What Makes A Man

In Chinua Achebe's book "Things Fall Apart," an occurring theme in the African lifestyle, which he is trying to show through Okonkwo, is what makes a man. In their society, a man was his own. He did everything himself, even from the beginning, "His fame rested on solid personal achievements," (3). Okonkwo did not ever want to live like his father or be remembered for what his father was, he was his own man and make it that everyone would remember his greatness. A successful man had many barns of yams, many wives, and lots of children. "Yams stood for manliness, and he who could feed his family on yams from one harvest to another was a great man indeed." (33) Okonkwo was a skilled farmer, a determined farmer, he worked endlessly to be respected and feed his family. "No matter how prosperous a man was, if he was unable to rule his women and his children (especially his women) he was not really a man," (53). Family was everything to a man, it was leaving a legacy, leaving behind your story, and it was a great blessing. But, a man was always above the women and children. Family is everything, to take care of your family was a man's duty. "We do not ask for wealth because he who has health and children will also have wealth. We so not pray to have more money but to have more kinsmen," (165). A man was to be strong, Okonkwo "was a man of action, a man of war," (10) and that was greatly respected and loved amongst the clan. Wrestling was a manly skill, to be physically better than another man was a great achievement, it showed strength and power, "to conquer and subdue," (42). Okonkwo wanted his sons to be brave, strong, masculine, etc. so he tells "masculine stories of violence and bloodshed." (53) To make them tougher and ready for the world. Religion was a large part of the community, so respect for the gods and the ancestors really was a large factor of a man's life, future, fate, or wellbeing. "And when a man is at peace with his gods and his ancestors, his harvest will be good or bad according to the strength of his arm," (17). To be a man was to be accomplished, all men respected a man who was older, because they have lived through many battles they have survived, and they are wise. The clan "judged a man by the work of his hands," (27) what effort he has put into to make him great will be rewarded with respect.

"The Surprising Science of Happiness"

After watching Dan Gilbert’s TED talk about "The surprising science of happiness", it really made me look at what I think makes me happy. Gilbert talked about how everyone thinks our outcome will be different if we get this, if we win, or if we gain in other words it sucks if we lose. But, he says that happiness can be synthesized, there is synthetic happiness. Now personally I have no idea what he means by this term, but he continues by giving some examples. Jim Wright, a famous democratic that lost everything his money and power, said “I am so much better off.” But wait it gets better, Moreese Bickham, a man put in jail for 37 years for a crime he was found later that he never committed, said he had not one minute’s regret “It was a glorious experience.” And finally, Pete Best, the original drummer for the Beatles who was later dumped by them, said, “I’m happier than I would have been with the Beatles.” These people are just a few of many who have found happiness after what we all consider to be traumatic events. Even though an event from the beginning may not be what we want, we never know if that leads us to the better future. We shouldn’t underestimate the bad paths in life from the good; we should embrace all that has happened to us with open minds, allowing life to take its toll. I think that the quote “Expect the unexpected” works really well here, because say the unthinkable happens, all that goes through the mind is life hates me and the end is near, but really before you know it a new door opens up and you find new people, loves, memories, and good times that you would never have guessed could come out of such a low point in our life. I think that this really is a great reminder to everyone, that when possibly we don’t get that “A” grade or our heart is broken by our true love or our dreams are shattered, there is more than that sad ending we think we are at. Those times we felt “It’s the end of the world as we know it!” no it’s not the end. There are no ends there are only beginnings. With happiness, I think, we shouldn’t anxiously demand for it and constantly drive ourselves insane searching for it, but instead let it happen out of the unexpected, let happiness find us.